McCord Henry: There Comes a Moment When You Know.

McCord Henry spent years building a successful career while privately fighting  battles that threatened to take everything from him.

Raised in a conservative Christian household in North Carolina, McCord grew up surrounded by faith, family, and expectations. But beneath the surface, he was wrestling with questions of identity, belonging, and self-worth. As he entered adulthood, alcohol became a way to escape the things he didn't know how to face. What began as social drinking slowly evolved into addiction, leading him down a path marked by isolation, shame, and self-destruction.

In this deeply personal conversation, McCord shares the story of the moment everything changed.

With remarkable honesty, he reflects on his struggle with alcoholism, the challenges of coming out as a gay man in a religious family, and the long journey toward accepting himself fully. He speaks candidly about the role shame played in both his addiction and his identity, and how surrendering the life he thought he needed ultimately opened the door to the life he was meant to live.

Throughout the conversation, McCord offers a powerful perspective on recovery, personal growth, and the courage required to confront difficult truths. 

Today, McCord is a hospitality executive who has worked with some of the industry's most respected brands. He is also the founder of ScriptedWit, a company dedicated to helping people create meaningful connection through the simple act of putting pen to paper.

This episode is a single man's jourmey through shame and surrender to  freedom—and a reminder that sometimes the most important turning point in our lives begins with a single decision.

Listen. Reflect. Become.

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Transcript

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And does every addict have to reach that point where they know that this is the moment? Yes. To answer your question, every addict has to realize it themselves. And there's a moment in your life when you know and you just know. I remember seeing every future glass of red wine with steak, every champagne wine toast flash before my eyes. And just this overwhelming sense of peace that was like, it's gonna be okay if I don't have those. And it was very physical too. Like it I felt it in my stomach and just kind of like heavy and then relief at the end of the day because I was like, and that's it, and we're done. Hello, and welcome to At the Podium with me, Patrick Huey. Today I'm thrilled and humbled to share the podium with McCord Henry. Born the youngest of four children, family and church were a significant part of McCord's life. His father was a pastor of a megachurch. It wasn't until he entered college that McCord made the decision to come out to his family, which he describes as a life-changing moment. It was not until he graduated that his addiction to alcohol began in earnest. Over the next seven years, his life would become a series of attempts to find sobriety. It wasn't until a life-altering experience in 2017 that his life changed and he has not had a drink since that time. McCord, welcome to At the Podium. Thank you. I'm excited to be here. I've really been looking forward to speaking with you because so many people suffer with addictions themselves. And we all know someone who is currently fighting an addiction or has been fighting an addiction. And I think your story can give people so much hope that there is a way out. Thank you. I I hope so. You know, it's a personal story that I struggled with, obviously. Um, but my goal with sharing and being so open about my struggles and my sobriety is to, you know, cast more light on this subject. Um, I think there's a lot of different paths to sobriety and there's not a monopoly or a right way to do it. And for me, anonymity was difficult. So I wanted to kind of do my own thing. And the more darkness and shame I put on myself for this subject, the harder it was for me to cope. So by kind of declaring it as a negative, but just a truth of mine is one way that I kind of shed light on it. And the more I talk about it and the more I discuss it with others, the more normal it seems, and it's not so scary and not so daunting. We talk to a lot of people who've gone through drug addiction, alcohol addiction, prescription drug addiction. And the one thing that we talk about is that there's so much shame for the person going through that. But there's a there's a real healing power for for them and uh a learning vocabulary for us when that person can step for step forward and say, This is my story, this is what happened. And it's it's like it's a beautiful testimony. I want to just jump right in with you. You were the president of your class, you have strong family roots, there were career opportunities available to you. Why why did you drink and why did it become an addiction for you? So glad we're starting off light, you know. Um I'm kidding. Uh the alcohol for me was always just like a part of my life. You know, I drank through college. I would consider myself a normal drinker. Normal is a loose term when you're in Charleston, South Carolina, because everyone drinks like a fish there, uh, myself included. So, you know, I was kind of surrounded by it was part of my culture. Um, my alcoholism really turned into a full-fledged addiction after I graduated college. In college, I felt like I had a direction and a clear focus and a goal. And you're with like-minded individuals and you're all learning and growing and you know, experiencing the same new experiences together. Um, and that kind of veered when I graduated college. I took a job as an inside sales analyst in um Charleston, South Carolina. And the main reason I took a job was for a um relationship. I found someone and um moved back to Charleston. And so I just I wasn't really happy in my career. Um, and therefore the only happiness I really got was from my relationship and my friends and my, you know, socializing life. And when my relationship suffered or my friendship suffered, it it led into everything. And therefore, I I really started drinking because I wasn't happy with myself and I started drinking to escape instead of enhance any sort of situation. And that's when it really became a focus of my life and turned from just a part of it to really it was an ongoing constant. What did it give you when you drank? Escape. Uh, it gave me uh a sense of numbing. It kept the demons at bay. You know, a lot of people drink to make themselves outgoing or, you know, social lubricants, or you know, whatever you want to say. I really just drank because I wasn't happy with myself. I moved to Los Angeles to kind of put a band-aid on the situation. You know, I wasn't happy. I thought, you know, chasing a dream of working in film and casting would would solve the trick. So I moved to LA and pursued a career in film, um, casting. Uh, and you know, when you have a pretty intense drinking problem in Charleston, maybe don't move to Los Angeles and become a bartender was not a great life decision. But um I ended up cashing out my 401k, um, running myself into a stupor. And I mean, it went my drinking went from, you know, I was kind of functioning in Charleston to every day was, you know, waking up to drink. Um and I I really drank because I was depressed, not happy with myself, and um, because I couldn't stop drinking. And it just, it just became my life. As you're going through this really serious problem, where were your close friends? Where were your family? How were they dealing with this with you? So my family and my friends were where I had kept them, which was at bay. Um I moved to Los Angeles to pursue a dream, but I also fled my current situation and my my family and my support system to to do that. Um, they reached out, they were trying to be there. My brother came and visited me. Um, I was living with, you know, another brother's friends, but you know, I told them everything was fine. And that was that's kind of a recurring theme that circled the first time or came up the first time I got drunk, and then the second time as well. You know, I um was out west far away and just detached emotionally and physically. And it was it was kind of easy to keep them in the dark. I was super busy with work or whatever reason. And, you know, they tried to reach out and to to help and you know, intervene. I had I've had interventions, you know. I I went to a family wedding in Atlanta, and that's when they really realized that there was a severe problem. Knowing that they were there was always comforting, but I also I didn't want them to know me as I was because I wasn't happy with who I was. Why weren't you happy? Because I was embarrassed. I mean, I was uh I couldn't, you know, it was so Patrick. It was, you know, I'm looking back on everything now, I wouldn't change anything. I think everything happens for a reason, but my addiction was so severe that there was no question as to whether or not I could handle alcohol. You know, um, I see a lot of people in my industry and in in New York and Baltimore, kind of everywhere, that can handle and kind of walk the line of, you know, maybe I'm drinking too much, maybe I'm not. Um, from from my experience, there was just no question. Like if you saw me, I couldn't hold a tray steady enough and like serve a martini glass as a server because my hands were just shaking so bad. Uh so in a lot of ways, I'm I'm really grateful that it was that that severe just because the choice was made for me, you know. It was either I had two options, either get sober or or die or go to jail, you know, three options, I guess. Um but I when I was in that dark place, you know, no one could reach me. And I I couldn't, I didn't want to be found. I just wanted to be left alone and left with my own devices. And um, I was just such a miserable person. And um I'm I'm sure I was fun and nice. You know, I don't think that's ever that's ever changed in some instances, but I I did not want anybody. I try and find pictures of myself from that time, and I I really can't find any because I would just shy away from everything limelight, camera, and and all of it. So what happened on April 3rd, 2017? That whole month of April or March into April was just kind of a slow or actually pretty quick decline, if you will. Um, I had moved. Uh long story short, I had this was that was the second time I got sober. Because the first time I got sober was in LA and I went to intervention, um, went to a sober living house, and we can talk about that a little bit later. But um March 3, 2017, I woke up and I had a week earlier, I was had gotten written up for at work um for falling asleep on the job for being drunk. And there was documentation on footage of me in the office just like sprada on the floor. Um my boss sat me down. My boss actually at the time was 17 years sober. Um, and so he knew what was going on with me. And he sat me down, had a ride up and was like, McCord, what's going on? Like, what is going on? And I was like, John, I'm just not doing too well right now. And I always blamed, there's always something to blame, you know, there's some one, some instance, some reason that you can come up with um for for the way that I was. It was never my fault, you know. And I was like, John, I'm not doing well, you know, and um he asked me if I wanted to see the photo of me on the floor, and I was like, no, I do not. Um I had the next day off and I drank the whole day, and I woke up the next morning, that was like a week before April 3rd, and um called in and quit my job. I just quit. I don't really remember anything from that week after that. Um, I know that the HR department had called and reached me or to try to reach me, and they got me a hold of me, and I was like, I'm fine. And then they kind of went away um the next day, and then the rest of that week, I really don't remember anything. I do remember um delirium tremors, which is like a very severe hallucination if you're withdrawing from alcohols, um, because that will kind of stay with you. But um essentially I woke up, I I think I attended an AA meeting drunk as well. And I woke up on April 3rd and I just was done. Uh yeah, I was done. I called my brother, um Thomas, who lives in Maryland. And I like, I remember being outside smoking a cigarette and just like not being able to hold the phone still and just being like, I don't know what to do. And he was like, go to the hospital. So I went to the ER, I ordered an Uber, walked in and just said, I'm suffering from alcohol withdrawals. And they had this really amazing actually facility in Santa Barbara, that's where I was living at the time, and um went upstairs and successfully detoxed. And five days later, on April 9th, I walked out of the hospital and I haven't touched it since. Part that is heartbreaking to listen to the story, to your story, is that it it feels like there was no one there to help you. And that's the part I think that struck me when I was reading the information you sent me, is that if it felt like this journey, and maybe this is the journey of addiction, is a very lonely journey until you can find your way through it. Is that accurate? Accurate physically, yeah. I definitely in in Santa Barbara, I I had no support system. You know, I um had moved from Seattle and I had good friends there, still had um have good friends from Seattle. My old roommate actually was just in town this week, and it's so like seeing her and see me now is just like such a great excitement. And she like kind of got emotional. Um but uh to answer your question, like, no, there was no one physically in Santa Barbara, but you say heartbreaking, and I am so thankful for that reason. Um, because I don't know if it would have gotten as bad as it would have been if I had a support system there, you know, if I hadn't like the reason it got so bad was because I was alone and I had and I and I put myself in that situation. I knew moving to Santa Barbara and taking this job from Seattle where I had friends and people that I loved. And after I had moved, you know, as far away from my family as I could, you know, go, um, I did all those things on purpose because I was pushing them away, you know, and so I'm so grateful that I did that because I don't think it would have ever gotten as bad as I needed it to be. Like I needed it to get that bad in order to wake up. You know, I woke up in Santa Barbara, I hadn't even installed my I slept on like a twin mattress on the ground and woke up that morning, there was empty bottles, all like I'm very OCD and organized, like everything has a home now. And look at like looking back on that room, that dark room with like vomit in the corner and like bottles everywhere. It's just like I don't think I would have woken up had I not been that bad, you know? And so it's looking back on it and reliving it and going back there, which I I every April 3rd is my sober birthday. So that like whole like two weeks beforehand is a very just kind of like not dark, but just reflective time of my life every year, just because I kind of go back there mentally, kind of every day and think about it. And I've had a lot of time to process it, you know? And I'm I'm so grateful that I was isolated and alone because I don't I think there I always would have had someone to kind of help me up and kind of get through and and I would not have ever gotten as bad as I needed it to be. And who is your support now? Who do you who do you have when the hard times come up? When when it's not so and when it's not so great and and bright, who who supports you now? My family are is the first one people I call. Um my mom and I are are super close. Um, my brother Thomas, Ashley, honestly, my whole family's great. You know, we've been through a lot, we've done a lot of changes. Um, and then I have a great support system and and my friends as well. You know, they've seen me on ups and downs and they've stuck by me the whole way. And so I I feel very supported across the board. And even when I was out there, you know, I I think the the really the way the most important thing that the most best advice I could ever give anybody with um who has family members or you know, someone who's struggling with addiction is just just to love, you know. Um, if you love that person, that's all you can really do. If you yell at them or tell them to get sober or tell them to stop drinking, that happened to me, and all it made me want to do is drink more and and kind of you know shy away from that person and and to run away. But the way to the way the way to get through and support someone is just being there and um you know, knowing that I had those people in my life that I could count on is um is what made me get better. Are you doing AA or a program or not? No, yeah, no, I um I did, I did AA for the first um for the first so the first time I got sober was in LA and I had the intervention with my family. I was came back east for a wedding, and I did um had the intervention, went to a rehab facility in Maryland years before I actually lived in Maryland, and it was uh an experience. And then I went to a sober living house, which was a different experience. Um, and the first time I got sober was not for me. It was for my family. And because I was out of money, I had no jobs, and they essentially, you know, supported me through that, um, which I'm I'm so grateful for. It kind of laid the groundwork, I think, and kind of made me realize what addiction was. But at the time, the first time I got sober, I worked the steps. I didn't think I had a problem. You know, I um my whole byline during that entire nine, eight, nine, ten months was that you can be addicted to a substance, but not an addict. And that's what, that's what I thought I was. You know, I was like, I was just depressed and I found solos in the bottle. And people who, you know, are addicted to cigarettes aren't necessarily addicts. So that's just who I am. So very quickly when I left, I started drinking again. Uh the second time I got sober, I got sober for me because I realized it was it was one or two options. I could either die or, you know, or get better. And um, I started going to AA for a while after I got sober, but the more I went, first of all, let me just say I think AA is an amazing organization. And people ask me on, I'm very vocal on social media, as you know, about my sobriety. And people always ask me, like, not always, but uh, I have people ask me who are, you know, seeking help. How do I get sober or how would you make a change in your life? And I always, I always direct them to AA. I think the structure is brilliant. It's about giving back, working towards a community, and you know, helping others and and you learn about yourself. It's reflective. And I think the structure is really brilliant for those people who are trying to put one foot in front of the other and just trying to get back on their feet. Um, for me personally, I don't like to think of myself as living in recovery. You know, I do think that there, like I said earlier, there's not a monopoly on addiction, and there's a lot of different paths out there, and this is one that just works for me. Um, and for me, I I don't have to think about alcohol anymore on a day-to-day basis, which I'm very grateful for. And I'm very cognizant of the fact that I could change at any at any point. But at this time in my life, um, I I don't have to do that. And I I don't want to live in that reflective, dark kind of recovery state. You know, I I was broken, I was a mess, and I recovered from it and I moved on. Same way, you know, you break a bone and you heal and you can move on. And again, like I said, I'm I'm aware of the fact that that could change, but for now, that's my truth, and that's that's kind of why I started this whole living recovered campaign, because for me, I that's my truth, you know, and that it's what works for me. You've mentioned several times your family, um, and that you've had the support of your family, which is is fantastic. I know you grew up in a in a religious family. Um, your father was the pastor of a megachurch in North Carolina. I went to a mega church in Texas, so I know what that means when I was growing up. But what was that like for you growing up within that world? It was I mean, it was hard and amazing and challenging all at the same time. I think it built a base for my character, and I I do consider myself a good person, you know. The golden rule is something I try and follow. And I'm I'm so grateful that I had those years growing up. Um, do I think differently than my family does now? Absolutely. You know, I'm, you know, my own person, and I I don't know if that would have been the case had I not been a homosexual, you know. Um, so I'm I am grateful for the way everything turned out. Growing up in the church is I was actually back there recently, and it was it was just so bizarre, just because you're I just was a different person, you know. And I remember, I remember the first time I was attracted to a guy. I was in eighth grade, and I would say his name, but I'm not going to. Uh, and he was walking down the hallway towards me, and I just went, damn. And I was so disgusted with myself, I went to the bathroom and threw up, like literally like vomited. Um, and I was like, what the hell was that? And that, you know, really started the suppression and baseline shame of my sexuality for a really long time. And I wasn't comfortable sharing that with anyone, obviously. And for a long time I thought I would, you know, marry a woman, be straight, and then um, and then I went to college and um I actually it was my um my I remember my first time ever really thinking for myself was in as a junior in high school, I was in a world religion class and the professor at a at a Bible school, like a Christian college, or excuse me, Christian high school, and my professor told us about the parable of the seven blind men and the elephant. And each blind man represents a world religion, and the elephant was God, and how and he was teaching it to us in a way that was saying that it was incorrect. But I just remember being like, but if we're all blind and we're holding the tail, you know, what we what we see and feel is true, and that's our way to God, so is the person that's holding the foot. Um, and it was just one of like a it was like an aha moment. And I just remember asking my raising my hand, asking a question, being like, well, and I said that, you know, and he just kind of was like, no, no, no. And my mind literally went from there to, well, maybe, just maybe, if you can believe in Jesus and also, you know, be Hindu and still reach heaven, then maybe, just maybe, I I can be a homosexual and it's okay. And I just remember like it was just like that moment. I was like, shh quiet, uh, and it went went away. And then uh I went to college and I met um my first boyfriend and fell in love, and the rest. Was history. You came out to your family when you were in college. You say that moment changed your life. Yeah, I mean, I mean, I think anybody who's gay, the moment they come out of the closet, is a is a revelation. And mine wasn't so much a moment, it was more like a progression. Uh, I got I slowly started telling friends and then more and more found out. And then it wasn't until um my fa my family found out actually the night before college graduation. Uh and yeah, I mean, as soon as as they found out, it was just it was such a relief. Like um honestly, it was the biggest relief, second biggest relief of my life after putting down out. How is your relationship today with your family? Is it it's great, yeah. I mean, so um, you know, my it was it was not the easiest coming out in a southern conservative family, especially with your dad being a pastor. But um, it's like now my mom's you know my best friend. I call her like once a week and we we talk about it, we talk about boys. And um, I I did not see a life like that for when I came out of the closet when I was living in there. Um, but I think that it just took time for for me to be comfortable with myself and for also them to see that who I am as a gay man is I'm still, you know, still me. It doesn't, and that's not changed. So um yeah, it's great to answer your question. And have you been able to reconcile being gay with having strong religious beliefs or not having them? Have you been able to reconcile that? Or is that still in in process for you? No, that's a great question. Uh and I definitely consider myself a spiritual person. Um I, you know, I pray, I meditate every day. I believe that there is something out there guiding me, and especially, especially the life that I've had and the darkness that I was in and how messed up I was. Um, I would I would, you know, I I don't think that's just it's all by chance. So I definitely consider myself a spiritual person. And um, I don't like to define that by saying because I believe this, you're gonna, this is what's gonna happen. And I just I just choose to believe that if I put more good out there, then I'll be okay. I think it's a tough moment in the church right now. Of all the religions trying to reconcile, particularly homosexuality with doctrine, which can seemingly be in conflict. I think the church and religion are are trying to find their way through that. It doesn't seem like there's a clear path yet, but I I feel like there is there's a way that it feels like there's a struggle happening and there there's there's a dialogue happening around this around this issue in particular, I think, from what I see and hear and and experience. I agree, and I um, you know, I hope they figure it out, but for now I'm just content and happy living my life. You said in your story that you went to live in a sober house in Dallas, and you you you said that it was it was a it was a nice break, but that you had to leave because it it turned out that it was actually a a conversion therapy. How did that enter your life and um so conversion therapy? I wouldn't say it was the conversion therapy house. I I was look so I was looking for a place in rehab to go after you know my 28 days were up. And there were a couple different options that my family had sent me. Um all of them were Christian based or and religious based. And I called one or two and uh I definitely got like the door slammed um on me on a on a few of them. But um the one I ended up going to was the place in Dallas. Honestly, like it was I it was a nice break because it gave me, I just didn't have to think for a while. You know, after I had messed up my life so bad and was in a a dark place, they I got there, they took my phone away, and I just started working. I started working the steps, I started working on myself, I started working out, and I um slowly got like healthy again. I did was very clear when I went there that, you know, I am a homosexual and I'm not looking on changing that. And that is part of my identity, and they needed to be okay with that. And they said that they were and that that was fine. And then slowly over the my time there, I realized that that was not the case. I went to um about like four months in, I went to a a seminar at a church with a gentleman who was uh a converted homosexual and was now a straight man with a wife, and he was leading this talk about how it's possible and how it's a sin. And it was just the fact that we were there in the first place, I just was extremely targeted. I actually left the church kind of like crying and was just so angry, like, why would they do this? And I got frustrated with them, and they ended up pairing me with this older gentleman who was a gay but was living a life of celibacy because it was a sin. And, you know, I respected him for that, and he was a very nice gentleman, but I again just felt this constant pressure from these leaders that were they were we were focusing on the wrong thing, you know. I'm here for alcoholism. And um, I ended up working the steps, going through all everything, living, you know, living there for nine months. And um, I just remember my last, we had a graduation ceremony, which is kind of when you go and present to this board of all of men why you're ready to leave and go back out into the world and contribute. And, you know, I gave them the list of all these things that I had done, and alcohol wasn't referenced once during that entire time. It was all about my sexuality and all about me living in sin and that Jesus thinks that it's you know, it's wrong. And it just it just like struck me as and it it's when you're in it, I don't, it's like I was like brainwashed for a while. Like it was, it was like I it just seemed like I was like justifying it and like it was like normal. And I was like, well, these guys just don't understand. And it took me like getting out of there, and I don't even think I processed it really, and maybe I still haven't, but um took me getting out of there and I started obviously within a month I was drinking again, you know, and I I don't necessarily I don't blame them for that. I think that was still my own issue, but I do think it's it's it is frustrating, you know. We spent all this money to be there and my graduation ceremony from a sober living house, we're not gonna talk about my sober life. We're gonna talk about my sexuality. It's that's not why I was in treatment for. And so um, you know, it was it was a it was an interesting, interesting experience. There was we had you know meetings with each other. I still talked to some of the guys, um, but honestly, it's it's hard to talk to to some of the guys too because it's it just brings up all these old frustrations and and and anger I had towards this group of men telling me how to live my life. And it brought up some frustrations I had with the church when you know I came out of the closet too. So it was um, you know, my dad left organized religion when I was a sophomore, and he's now in mission work. And the the way his exit impacted me, just it kind of brought up all these old bad memories from from that. And kind of, if anything, it kind of just like furthered me more away from organized religion in general. You know, if I I believe in God, I I I talk to him and I have a direct line, I don't need to go through someone else. And that's kind of like what re-established that for me in my life. When it comes to alcoholism and that experience, I don't know honestly, if if alcohol had been my focus and not my sexuality, if that would have helped. Because I I know looking back at who I was at that time, I was not ready to stop drinking throughout that entire, that entire time. And I knew that. So, regardless of, you know, I kind of look at it as two separate things. Like one was my sexuality, and then at the end of the day, when I was sitting in those meetings in AA and I was talking to these other guys that were in my sober house with me with addiction problems, and most of them were there for heroin and um and opiates. And at the end of the day, in the back of my mind, I knew I was gonna drink again because I didn't think I I didn't think I had a problem. You know, I thought, like I said, I was just depressed. So if anything, it just prolonged how long it took me to get sober. But um at the end of it, you know, I'm I is how I got started in hospitality. So I I'm I I was working as a server at a restaurant, and I remember this woman uh telling me what to do. And I was 25 at the time. I've been working in a restaurant since I was 15, and she was 22, fresh out of college, no experience, and was telling me what to do. And I was like, I am so much more qualified for this position than you are. Why am I listening to you? And I went up for a promotion that day and got it, and um, it all co-coordinated with the the end of my stint and um the sober living house. And I got went up for promotion and they offered me two promotions. One was to stay in Dallas, Texas, where I was, and the other one was to go to Seattle, Washington. And I was like, I'm gonna take the Seattle Road, and um and I didn't. You said that even when you were in the sober house in Dallas or whatever that house was, you knew that you were gonna drink again. That that you knew that you weren't done with it. And then I think about this time in in April of 2017 that that you knew that you were done. Why did you know that you were done? And does every addict have to reach that point where they know that this is the moment yes, to answer your question, every addict has to realize it themselves. And I don't know what specifically changed. I just remember waking up and I really had no options either. You know, I had quit my job, I had pennies left, and I was forced into this corner, and I could have gone back out and drank more, but I just remember being like, this is it, this is the moment. And I I wasn't 100% sure at that time that that was it. I actually went, um, went home or I moved, it wasn't at home then, but it went to Baltimore. My brother, who I had spoken to, you know, I talked to him a few days later, and he was like, come live with me. You can stay in my basement. There's this hotel that just opened up here, like a few blocks away. Come here, stay here, get back on your feet, and you know, stay as long as you want, you know, and um I'm incredibly and forever will be grateful to him for that. And the two the I did that. I moved with him, and the two of us went and visited my um, my uncle. We call him my uncle, but he's actually my dad's cousin in Philadelphia, um, David. And he's been sober for 17 years. He also was, you know, never done AA. He pulled me aside and we're talking as this like family function's happening, and he um he just says, you know, McCord, there's a moment, and he told me his moment, um, which I don't want to share because it's you know his personal story, but he told me that there's a moment in your life when you know, and you just know, and it's done. And I just remember getting, I felt like I got like hit in the stomach. Like I was like, I just remember in that, like that I think that was my moment because I remember seeing every future glass of red wine with steak, every champagne wine toast, every, you know, date, first date for drinks, any any function, any event, any party, any sort of reason for not drinking, like kind of flashed before my eyes. And just this overwhelming sense of peace that was like, it's gonna be okay if I don't have those. And um it was it was very I like it was very physical too. Like it I felt it in my stomach and just kind of like heavy and then relieved at the end of the day because I was like, and that's it, and we're done. And how did you find running in marathons? So April 3rd, 2017 is my sobriety date. April 3rd, 2017 was alcohol. The next year I decided to give up smoking cigarettes. So I ran I smoked a lot of cigarettes that first year of sobriety. And I wanted to, I was like, I'm gonna let myself have this. And um, I gave myself one year, and the next day I put it down and I started working out. So I started working out pretty, I mean, I switched one addiction for the other. I um worked out regularly, and I remember I was in the Florida Keys at my granddad's place, and we were I went for a run and I ran seven miles, which was at the at the time was like the longest I'd ever run. And about a month before this, one of my very good friends had run a marathon, and she was like, You gotta do one with me. And I was like, absolutely not. I will never do a marathon. That sounds awful. And in my head, it kind of like stuck with me, and I was running, I ran seven miles, and I just was like, I'm gonna run a marathon. And I decided to do it. And I um I signed up for the Baltimore Marathon. It was very important to me that it was Baltimore. You know, I um had there's the big six, you know, Tokyo, uh, Berlin, London, Chicago, uh, Boston, and New York, that everyone was like, run one of those, you know, you have to do it or do XYZ. Baltimore was kind of where I established myself as the person that I'm becoming. I don't think I'm there yet, but uh, and I'd wanted to do it there and give back in some capacity to the city that I was at. So I in that moment I decided to run. And, you know, Baltimore is not a major marathon, so you can just like sign up and go for it. But I thought it was important that I use this, and I wouldn't, you know, necessarily call running a gift, but use this as some sort of platform to kind of get the message out there that, you know, you're not alone and that there's other, there's another option for those that are struggling. And so I ran the Baltimore Marathon in 2019, and then I just finished the New York Marathon uh about two weeks ago, and I did over currently raised about 11,000. Um, so the first one was for a rehab center in Baltimore, uh, which is like a halfway house. It's called Penn North Recovery, and it's a great organization. And then I ran most recently the New York Marathon with the partnership to end addiction. And they're all about helping families who are have those who are struggling with addiction. And do you run under your organization, Living Recovered? Is that the So I run under I uh I or Living Recovered is not an organization yet. My best friend Caroline has been trying to get me to turn it into one, and she will, you know, laugh at me for not doing it. But I do have the websites, Caroline, so that's good. Uh but um it's not an organization yet, but it's just it's just something that I I that made sense to me. You know, I um one of my first posts I talked about, you know, how I'm the reason I I'm very vocal and I don't want to talk about this is because I'm not I don't feel like I am living in recovered. I am recovered and I am living. And that's kind of where Living Recovered came from, is because I I don't think it has to be a negative. And people people ask me, you know, how sad was it, how dark was it, how how lonely was it? And I'm so like I look back on it and I'm just so grateful that it was that bad. And I I don't look at addiction as a negative in my life at all. You know, it was for a very long time, but I look at it in a way as, you know, not to sound like cliche, but as a superpower or a gift, if you will. Like I am hyper-focused, I am intense, I am passionate, and I am dedicated, and I am very driven. And if I focus that and channel it to booze or alcohol, absolutely it's a curse. But if I focus that and channel those, you know, traits into bettering myself, running, working out, um, quotes, uh, you know, reading anything, it can be turned into a positive. And it doesn't have to, it doesn't, it can define my life, but on my terms. And um, it's something that I I am instead of shying away from and and running from and sh being ashamed of, which I did for so long, I've embraced and I've you know honed and turned into something that I can work towards my advantage. And I'm so grateful for for all of that because I don't know if I would be able to live up to my potential had I not been. And I I don't think I I haven't yet, and I don't think I I am, and I don't think I ever will, which is why I I'm excited about it, because I just gotta keep going and thinking about what's what's the next challenge, what's the next obstacle, what's the next next course, which kind of sounds a little exhausting, uh, but it's also exciting. I find your story just beautiful and inspiring. It's such an easy word to say your story's beautiful and inspiring, but it you know, you came through and are coming through on the other side of something. And the fact that you can say that you wouldn't change that because that's your story, that's your journey, that's a thing that makes you you. And you've been able to channel all of that into something positive, I think is even more impactful. Thank you. I I hope so. I like to ask people because I'm always curious. You've had so many different inflection points and turns within your life. What what do you view as that moment, that that moment when you had to take the greatest leap of faith and step out into the unknown? Um sorry, into the unknown by Adina Menzel just started playing in my head. Uh I can do it. Uh I've had a lot, honestly, you know. Um, and I I I mean, even like even from back from the first one to to moving to LA on like a whim with nothing um and no real direction. So I I it's exciting, but um, I guess the most significant move into the unknown would I mean probably be moving to Baltimore, you know, and it I wouldn't say unknown, it was more like a a shrug almost. At that point, I was I was so down on my life and not knowing what to do that it was it wasn't a like a victorious return to Baltimore. It was more just like a prodigal son, if you will, like coming back and and and almost and a lot of and a failure. But looking back, had I not done that, I wouldn't be where I am now. You know, I'm with a great company, I just moved to New York, and um that's an exciting unknown. But I think, you know, not not knowing how things turned out, especially working in hospitality too. When I when I um said I was going back into the industry after being in being you know, sober for what? Like I think I think I interviewed for with this company with I was on April 19th. So it was like, you know, 15, 16 days after I'd gotten sober. Um, my family was like, do not work as a server or a bartender in a restaurant. Like, do not do that. You are like asking for trouble. I'm very glad I did not listen to them, even though I probably should have. But for me, it was an unknown that uh definitely certainly benefited in the long run. Thank you so much for your time today. I'm truly grateful that Vivian sat down with me today. I appreciate you reaching out and um always a pleasure to talk to you. And um, yeah, thank you for letting me be here. Absolutely. And to those of you who are watching and listening, remember we all have a voice, so use yours wisely. Bye, everyone.